Tip to feel good about being a traveling/working/busy mom

When Harry was an infant, traveling for work was not as hard. In fact, it was nice to be able to relax for a night before rushing home. I have been hoping when he is older he will understand and maybe even appreciate my travel. I figure our phone calls will be more productive, he can fax me his homework to review, I can leave him notes in his backpack...But 2 is hard. At 2, he just wants Mommy to be home. Actually, he wants Mommy to take him to the beach. (I want to go to the beach too!) So, feeling guilty (and a bit lazy) and not wanting to catch a 6 AM flight to Atlanta, I sat down at Harry's desk and picked up a crayon and wrote him a letter. The extent was "Good Morning, Harry! Love, Mommy!" It included pawprints, happy faces and flowers. I am told after finally finding it on the floor in front of him, he went and wrote his own response to me (across the front of the letter of course!). I can't wait to see it. And if the letter didn't serve the full purpose of letting him know I was thinking about him, at least it was a distraction!

Oh- and running 4 miles on the treadmill helped me sweat out some guilt too!

first day of school

I dropped Iz off for his first day of "school" -- a summer program in town that meets two days a week for four hours each day. One of the days is called"Mothers' Day Out", the other the "Early School Program." The former concentrates on holidays and social stuff, the latter on school-like topics (colors, shapes, numers, letters). But the teachers, kids, and place are the same. The kids arrive, play with toys, do an art project, play outside, eat lunch, and again play with toys or go outside. Perfect for little Iz.

How to explain to a two-year-old kid who has never been to school what school is... Didn't matter. We arrived at the door and he took off without a backward glance. The Seasame Street theme helped (he pounced on a little plastic Elmo action figure).

I hovered a bit before I left. I wasn't worried that the teachers couldn't take care of him. But I did wonder if I should tell them that he doesn't eat a damn thing. I decided not to because it occurred to me that he might eat better around other kids and when those around him had no idea he is a pain about food. We'll see. I'll probably get a starving, exhausted child back at 1pm. Maybe then he'll start figuring the food thing out.

This school thing is odd. Now I have four hours and no work on my desk to get done (when I don't have child care for him, I have tons of work -- am I cursed?). Sure, I could clean some part of the house. Yes, I could clean and organize my office. Maybe tomorrow, when he goes again. Now I think I am going to exercise out back, then paint a bit (I'm still working on the big version of the Zamia Street house). Maybe, maybe, then I'll start in on cleaning my office.

Update: I received an "Iz has messed himself, please come and change him" call an hour after I dropped him off. You see, they don't do diapers, though they don't expect a two-year-old to be toilet trained, just toilet "aware." I sent him in pull ups to at least pretend he is aware. I ran over (okay, drove over), changed him, and left again.

The report at 1pm was that he been great -- not even cranky when he was tired (which the teacher said some of the older kids were). He is a rallyer when tired, as long as there are other kids around and toys to play with. But he didn't eat a damn thing.

where have I been?

It all started when Iz fractured his foot on May 31. He climbed on a little square cafe table on our back deck. As I walked toward him and asked him to get down, he smiled that "of course I'm not going to listen to you -- in fact, I'm going to make the whole situation more risky" and walked to the edge of the table and jumped.

Not off the table, but the table tipped, he flattened out on the table top, and the two hit the ground. Not very fast, not very hard, not very far. But it was enough.

The foot breaking happened right when I had a huge, unfamiliar editing job for a new client that I had promised to them by June 5 (I did get an extension until June 9 -- and just managed to get it done). I may sound selfish here -- believe me, I would rather make sure Iz was okay than do the editing job -- but the facts were that I had this huge job and had made a promise to a client.

Iz was a mess for a few days (understandably). The first night, he slept no more than 3 hours combined -- no more than 15 minutes at a time. The rest of the time he was crying -- ranging from hysterical to wimpering. I knew he was exhausted and drove around with him for an hour at 2 a.m. (Interesting out there on the roads at 2 a.m. We live in an area which has a high number of car thefts and I think I saw a car being stolen. But what was I going to do about it? Pull over and ask the three young men -- who were hiding their faces from my view -- what they were doing while my two-year-old screamed. Not likely. They were gone by the time I made a third loop down the road -- as were two cars.)

The type of crying seemed like the pain kind, but it turns out he was totally frustrated with the splint. Took us two days to figure that one out -- if we unwrapped the ace bandage, he fell right asleep.

Anyway... I snapped. I indulged in my own hysterical crying and rants that spiraled into hopelessness. (A complete mental breakdown? Hard to say.) I think I still have not recovered. I am questioning everything:

• I love taking care of Iz, but should I put him in more extensive child care so I can get work done?
• I can't imagine myself not working, but could I work much less and not be destitute?
• Should I bag the whole idea of having a second child?

Maybe I'll recover and stop doubting everything.

Isaac is, of course, recovering (I was never worried that he wouldn't). He never had a cast put on because the first split gave him a huge blister -- and you can't put a cast on a blister (festering possibilities). So we can take off his splint, bathe him, stop him from screaming hysterically... And he runs around on the split like nothing is wrong. He calls it his "big foot."

IT JUST GOT INTERESTING!

No, I don't mean Jen & Vince's pending engagement. I mean the second marathon I signed up for this October! I feel fine after running 1, so why not 2? I'll be seein' ya in Chicago October 22 and again a week later for my third Marine Corps Marathon. Hmmm. I REALLY better start training now. Anyone have any good suggestions for a 4 month training plan? ;-)

Bert-day to you. Bert-day to you.

Instead of Here Comes the Bride, the tune I hear most frequently these days is Happy Birthday To You. I’m not complaining, really. I just find it interesting.
I realized the other day that this is the first year in the past 15 that I don’t have 1 single wedding to attend – at least none that I am aware of this late in the game. There were some years that we woudl attend 3 weddings in one weekend. 1 day we attended two weddings in two different states...and I was in one of them! But now they seem to have been replaced.
What I have now is a schedule full of toddler birthdays and birth announcements. They are fun. A social outlet, at least. I do miss cake that doesn’t turn my teeth dark green (Ninja Turtles) and sitting down to enjoy a meal. And dancing with my husband. But bouncing around the room with my toddler can be a blast...and don't you kind of wish everyone still lit up at the site of a balloon? It would make business meetings a whole lot more interesting!

I Will Make It There...

I ran the Covered Bridges Half Marathon on our vacation. First let me say, the name is somewhat of a misnomer. We ran over exactly one covered bridge. However we did pass another and regardless the scenery was absolutely stunning. What an amazing half. It's quite difficult to get into the race--they open registration in December and it generally fills the same day. I had my husband get online first thing in the morning to secure my spot.

I ended up running about 90 percent of the race with friends, which made it just fly by. At about mile 10 1/2, though, it started being not so fun. That always happens. I'm digging the race, in a zone, psyched just to be running. And then at some point, I realize, "Hey, I'm tired. I'm ready to be done." And then I just want the race to be over, which kind of works in my favor because it forces me to kick it to get the race over with faster.

Which leads me to my time. A personal half marathon record for me! My net time was 2:04:17 for a pace of 9:29 minutes a mile! Whoo hoo! Now it has me thinking, "Could I break the two hour half marathon?"

Anyway, we returned from a week's vacation with me kicking and screaming and not wanting to come home to, well, real life. I said to my husband, "Now what? Now what do I have to look forward to? We have no more trips planned."

Ah, but sometimes the gods work in your favor. And when I came home and downloaded my zillion e-mails, there it was: "Countdown to the start of the race of your life, November 5, 2006: 150 Days. Congratulations! You're in for the experience of a lifetime, the ING New York City Marathon 2006!" It's my do-over! I got a lottery spot in the NYC marathon!

It's completely rejuvenated me. And I'm really far ahead in my training this time around--already up to 15 mile long runs. I see a great race in my future. Anyone else out there doing it?

"Marathoning is like cutting yourself unexpectedly. You dip into the pain so gradually that the damage is done before you are aware of it. Unfortunately, when the awareness comes, it is excruciating." -- John Farrington, Australian marathoner

I guess I dig the pain.

Improving with Age

So my mind may be slowing, but my body is speeding up! I ran the Portsmouth Red Hook/Runner's Alley 5k last Sunday, and I kicked butt! About four and a half years ago, Adam and I ran a 10k together. I thought I did awesome then! Well, now that I'm practically 38, I broke my personal record:

535 (out of 1529)
42 out of 262 in my gender/age division
total time: 25:57
pace: 8:22 minutes a mile.

In just two short years, I'm in a new age division (and a "master's" runner. Yuck!), which means I might actually start to really kick some ass. Right now, my age division is 30 to 39, so I'm competing against those youngsters. When I'm running in the 40 to 49 year olds, I'll be the young 'un!

My half marathon is this weekend. I have a terrible time pacing myself on longer races--I tend to go out too hard and then sputter out at the end. I haven't quite figured out what my pace should be, although for 13.1 miles, I'm hoping to average a 9:45 to 10 minute a mile pace. Wish me luck!

DoodleSpeak

We're now entering that phase that's so wonderful when Doodles's communication is getting to the point where he can really express himself and tell stories and let us know what's going on in his world. It was really exciting for me the day I walked into his day care and he said, "Come see the chrysalis!" and he brought me over to a net cage. He said, "We had caterpillars. They're now chrysalis." His teacher prompted him, "What will they be?" Doodles said, "Butterflies!" His teacher asked, "What kind?" Doodles said excitedly, "Painted lady!"

Sometimes he tugs at my heart strings. We're still having issues with Sweetie's sleep (will it ever end?) and the other day, I put her down. I was home alone with Doodles, so I was intermittently patting/walking/nursing Sweetie and then running back to take care of Doodles who also needed to get ready for bed. At one point, he stopped eating and he looked at me. "Sweetie is crying," he said to me. "I know, honey," I told him. "Can you make her feel better?" he asked me. Ugh! Don't I wish!

But there are also the really fun moments. Like last night. We were looking at his book, Things That Go, and I was pointing to different parts of a car, not sure which words he knew. Especially because of day care, I find that his vocabulary always surprises me, and he knows words I never would have expected him to know. So I pointed to different things and asked questions:

Me: What is this?
Doodles: A car!
Me: What color car?
Doodles: Blue!
Me: [pointing to the headlights] What are these?
Doodles: Headlights!
Me: That's very good! I didn't know you knew what those are. [now pointing to the side-view mirrors] And do you know what these are?
Doodles: [no hesitation] Ear lights!

Yeah! Does it get more fun than this?

Feelin' Good!

Wednesday I gave up coffee.
I have been dragging and I decided coffee may be the culprit.
I never used to drink the stuff. There are a lot of things I used to do and not do.
Anyway. No more coffee. At least not everyday.

Since giving up coffee, I am not dragging as much. In fact, I feel so good I decided that beginning tonight I am going to get 8 hours of sleep every night. I am even going to chart my progress.

I'm an all or nothing kind of gal - or at least, I used to be. Since getting pregnant 3 years ago, my health routine has been bordering on nothing. I was really sick when I was pregnant and the only thing that made me feel better was eating. Root Beer. Potatos. Cupcakes. I have given up the soda but not so much on the cupcakes and fries. Kick starting my regimine isn't working, so I am taking it one day at a time. Eventually, I will be back on track, rock hard and full of energy. That's my goal. Here is where you come in. What are your best kept secrets to feeling good? An apple a day? Vitamin D? Thai yoga massage? Pina Colada chapstick? Taco Tuesdays? Tanqueray? Let me know what works! I need to get moving. I bet I am not the only one!

Que es mas macho?

That would so be me. I am muy macho. Up here in eastern Massachusettes, we are having some MASSIVE rain. Sunday was not just pouring, it was ark-building weather. And yet, I had a race planned, a Mother's Day 5k and I was not to be deterred. Oh, I was a little disappointed because if the weather had been better, my whole family would have come to cheer me on and Doodles would have run his first race--there's a kids' fun run first--but I couldn't think of a better way to spend Mother's Day than a race.

But the clouds had their way and as I drove up, I was directed to the parking lot... where I was told the race was cancelled. The city asked the running club to cancel the race because flooding on the streets was so bad that cars needed to be redirected onto the race route. A few of us diehards were thanked for coming and we were encouraged to take a race shirt and partake of the baked goodies.

It was disappointing, but I felt a minor sense of accomplishment anyway, having shown up, which as we all know, is half the battle. It was going to be my first race since Sweetie was born (she's 8 1/2 months) and I was anxious to see my time. My running has improved so much of late, but I guess I'll have to wait until my next race (or rather my first race) on Memorial Day weekend. Which is fine. Just gives me that much more time to improve my speed!

Old School

As you may remember, I am a big fan of cross training. But, today I was being a super good runner. I walked to the gym and did my speedwork on the treadmill. I was all set to walk home when I got pulled into an Aerobics class. "It will be so fun!" I was told. I agreed and told the instructor I would likely stay for only 15 minutes. I stayed for the whole class! I felt like I was 13 again. Well, a slightly out of shape 13 year old, that is. It was a blast, though, and I have more spring in my run! It was weird to be in a workout studio with my shoes on and no yoga mat, but I have every intention if going back next week...and adding it to my marathon training!

Road Trip Season

I am on a teleconference at the moment. No clue what they are talking about. I do have a few ideas for my next vacation though. If you click on the link, there are a bunch of good ideas to use for road trips. And since I have to kind of listen to the call, and can't do anything too productive, here is my two cents:

Travel Games & Ideas for Toddlers:
Surprise packages Prepare ahead with paper bags of items to be given out every 25, 50 or 75 miles -- marked on a map with the location, it takes a little bit of preparation to do this but it REALLY helps young children. In each bag put a wrapped item -- usually a small toy. Then in some of the surprise packages you can add juice or a snack, stickers and a piece of paper, or something pertaining to the trip that you can talk about.

Hmmm...sounds like it will end up all over the mini-van. We take 3 hour trips regulary and I usually pack one bag with mostly large items such as books, etch-a-sketches, animals...NO STICKERS!

Travel Tickets
Use some colored construction paper to cut out some "tickets" for your trip. Give your child a pre-counted baggie full of tickets. Every half hour (or every 30 miles) they can turn in one ticket to you. When their tickets are gone, the trip has ended! This really helps young children get an idea of how much time is left on the journey.

Maybe for older kids...

Aluminum Foil modeling
Give everyone a sheet of aluminum foil. Have them mold it into anything they want: animal shapes, Frisbees, balls, jewelry, crowns, headband, necklaces. Be creative. Here's a link to article I wrote about more ways to have fun with aluminum art!

This one sounds like a great idea. And here is another addition: marathon blankets! You know those space age things you get after a big race? I stash them in my car in case I get stuck in one of those blizzards that pop up between DC and Philly unexpectedly. On a 1.5 hour drive on Easter, my 2 year old and my friend's 8 year old were entertained for an hour. 8 year old's little sister was left out though...so if you have multiple kids, you are going to have to run multiple marathons so you have more than 1 blanket (or use wrapping paper or aluminum foil).

Teleconference abruptly ended and when I tried to spell check I lost my entire post.
So, in brief, review the link. They have some good ideas.

Also, please ignore any spelling errors. I am not editing again!

In closing, thanks to everyone who recommended a car seat to use on a plane. We ended up with a lightweight Eddie Bauer for about $50. Harry loved it, was good as gold on the flight and in cabs, and it his now his "thinking chair" to draw "Clue's" in. I also used an old $9 folding luggage cart that they used to sell at airports before people had roller bags. Worked like a charm!

end of an era

A cliche for a title -- but I am so unexpectedly sad. Last night was my first night away from little Iz (who is just over two years old). He stayed with his grandparents, my in-laws. That was hard enough. (I knew they would take great care of him -- but it was odd and melancholy being away from him so long.) On the plus side, Abraham and I actually got to go running together without a jogging stroller or dog -- all by ourselves at 7 a.m. (because we were wide awake at 6 a.m. even sans toddler).

And, since Iz has now not nursed for two days, I have decided to wean him (seems like the only way -- though he may never nap for me again). And I am crying. No kidding. Tears streaming down my face, a few pathetic sobs. I have just left him in bed with his dad, who will do the getting him to sleep routine (he usually nurses to sleep with me -- yes, at two years old).

I don't really want a three-year-old who nurses (I may just be buying in to Western norms, but it seems a little odd to me -- and the kid needs to learn how to put himself to sleep sometime), but I have loved breastfeeding him. It has been easier than I expected; I never had much pain -- some soreness and odd breast changes early on. But easier than many stories I have heard and read. Since I had no idea how to wean him, this seemed like the only way. But I am so sad.

And tomorrow is my 35th birthday (I am not sad about that at all -- a fine age to be) -- and this is simply not a great present to give myself. But what else can I do?

Can’t we all just get along?

Sorry to use such a cliché in the title of the post, but this morning I had a truly mystifying experience on the trail. I was out running with one of my intrepid running partners on this glorious spring morning. The trail was, naturally, quite busy despite the early hour. Walkers, runners, cyclists, all sharing one of the recreational jewels of the Northern Virginia suburbs. As we approached a choke point (a narrow bridge), we were passed on the left by a faster runner going at a pretty good clip as two other runners were coming the other way, who were about to be passed on their left by a cyclist. The cyclist had to weave around the runner who had just passed us and squeeze between the two sets of runners. Annoying, I understand, but not atypical of a day on the trail. But as he passed us, he muttered under his breath, "f***ing joggers!"

Was that really called for?

I know historically there has been animosity between cyclists and runners, as they all share tight quarters in an attempt to avoid the exhaust fumes and road crossings of street running. And I know there are lapses on both sides, as I have been nearly plowed down by cyclists who think they're training for the Tour de France and my then-two-year-old daughter nearly caused a three-bicycle pileup when she got away from me at a pitstop on the side of the trail and ran into oncoming traffic. But, please. A little civility could go a long way.

Long Live Estee Lauder and Bras that Fit

Before I had a child, I was not old. Now I am. Granted, I turned 30 while pregnant, and that may have a little to do with it. Also, the weight changes. I, at least, am convinced that pre-baby I could walk out of the house with wet hair and little make-up and still look good for most of the day. Granted, I had a better body back then. That may have helped.
But, ladies, never under estimate the power of a good bra and some under eye concealer. Sure, it costs a little, but aren't we worth it? So, here are my tips:

1. Estee Lauder Perfectionist is everything that it claims to be. Add a little bit of concealer and you will look 29 again.
2. Yes, a good bra really does make your clothes look better.

I don't know about you, but mine are pricey (I am a bit bigger up top, and I am not bragging). I had hoped my old ones, which were new pre-baby, would fit well again eventually. At this point, they were nearly 3 years old, still not fitting well...time to take the plunger and get re-measured. It was well worth the price. I feel better, I look smaller, and I can wear a lot of old shirts that weren't fitting well in the too-small bras. So, it saved me money in the long run.

Now, back to the long run...

Guilty Pleasures

Wednesday morning in Alexandria. No, I am not sitting at home watching The Real Housewives of Orange County on Tivo. I am out doing my tempo run- on recycling day! I am checking out what brand of orange juice the neighbors drink. (One drinks Tang!). I am seeing who drinks better wine...who else likes Red Bull...who had a party...who prefers Pepsi to Coke...what brand of water Denise Austin drinks (just kidding. I didn't run that far)...who puts their newspapers in Trader's Joe's bags. I even checked out my own. In fact, mine was the healthiest one on the block. Good thing we dropped the empty Sierra Nevadas off at a friend's!
Hey, it makes the running go faster, right? I also like checking out what people stock in their refrigerators...how neat they are...I blame MTV (Cribs) for this. They do it, too. I have just taken it to teh streets!

Cross Training

So, I'm at the gym. I am taking a yoga class rather than running on the treadmill or outside. I love yoga. It makes me feel stronger and more fit. After a few weeks of daily yoga, I see results. I look more toned and my clothes fit better. After a few days of doing yoga, I get the urge to run another marathon.

So I sign up for races. I religiously attend yoga and brush up on my Pilates. I might swim, bike, even add weights. I take the dog for long, fast walks. Do I run? No, I do not! I do not run!

I mentioned to some friends last week that I was planning to run the Marine Corps Marathon again this year (assuming I get in). I don't know why I was surprised by the response. This was it: "Are you going to run this one without training, too?" Keep in mind, these friends are a group I used to work out with every day at 5:00 AM.

Well, when you put it that way!

I have run 4 marathons, lots of 10-milers, a couple of half marathons, some sprint triathlons...but I can't say I have ever logged more than 30 miles a week. That would include those weeks I was supposed to be running those longer-than-the-actual-marathon runs.
I am a bit slow right now, but pre-baby I kept a reasonably steady pace. I could run a 7 minute mile and average 10 for a marathon. My best marathon ever I stopped running a month before the event. It was the 2001 MCM and I wasn't sure it would actually be held that year. Luckily, I had trained with a running coach early on...but I stopped because the faster I got the less fun the running became. No what? I actually finished ahead of the 3 people I struggled to keep up with during training!

Some people run to get faster, or to meet personal goals, or to lose weight. I run to have fun. I mentioned getting faster takes the fun out of things for me. I usually gain weight when I run. Personal goals...sure, I have those...hey, maybe my personal goal is to run marathon #5 without training for it! Although, that gets harder as I age...

For me, running clears my head. It gives me energy. It tans my skin. It often provides quality time with friends. It gives me something to talk about and a reason to be outside.

There are lots of reasons to run. Not everyone has to run to be faster. For those of you who are like me and aren't into that, it's okay. We still count as runners. And my training may not be traditional, but it gets the job done. I feel great during and after the race. And I have fun. My goal is not just to finish, but to enjoy the process. I like long distance runs, but I like too many different activities to possibly train for running just by running. After all, it's the journey, not just the destination.

cherry blossoms, here again

So the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler is two days away. I have trained myself silly with speedwork and long runs (peaking with a 13 miler two weeks ago). I ran that 8K three weeks ago to get a sense of my speed ability -- and was on track to run sub 1:20 for the 10 miler.

Now I have been sick all week -- as has Iz. (Abraham seems to have skipped the whole snotty nose, low-grade fever, coughing fit thing. No fair! He has no race to run!) I wasn't deathly ill or anything, and I am getting better and was hare-brained enough to wake up at 5:30 am to get a little 4 mile run in ("a little" 4 miles because I am supposed to be tapering, after all).

But there is no way I will be at peak strength on Sunday morning. And I am really disappointed. Maybe I am being silly -- I can run it just fine at a slower pace. Barring something extreme, I have no fears about not finishing. But I actually took my training seriously. I had aspirations! Sure, I'm no world-class runner. At my best, I am a front-of-the-middle of-the-pack runner. So why should I care? Ah, because I do.

Okay, the goal now is to enjoy the race, right? Just kick back... I can talk myself into this... maybe... After all, it's not a marathon (which is much more involved and daunting).

Actually, I did run fast last year, but I was tired and uncomfortable much of the time (I had gotten very little sleep, interrupted by 11-month-old Iz, who didn't sleep through the night until he was well over eighteen months old) -- I wanted to do the same speed, but have fun doing it...

A Preview of What's to Come

Our little 2 1/2-year-old Doodles has suddenly morphed into a teenager. Truly. Note the various conversations we've all had with him lately, shades of the conversations we'll be having ad nausem for the next fifteen and a half years:

At 7:57 a.m.
Me: Doodles, it's time to get ready for school.
Doodles: I don't want to go to school!
Me: Doodles, you have to go to school. Now, is Mommy going to get your jacket on or do you want to put your jacket on?
Doodles: I don't want to go to school! LEAVE ME ALONE!

In the bathroom
Dad: Okay, Doodles, let me help you get your pants off. Do you want me to read you a book while you're on the potty?
Doodles: I need PRIVACY!

In the car after a disastrous departure from a friend's house.
Me: Doodles, that was not okay. When Mommy says it's time to leave, we have to leave.
Doodles, silent in the back seat, looking out the window.
Me: Doodles, do you hear me? When Mommy says we need to leave, we have to leave. If this continues, we won't be able to go back to Grape's house anymore.
Doodles, still silent in the back seat, looking out the window.
Me: Doodles, do you hear me?
Doodles: I don't want to talk.

Oh, joy. And I'm looking forward to when Sweetie Pie can talk? What am I, crazy?

For our Colorado friends

Just received this email from Title 9 Sports (my absolute fav. comfy clothing store):

Get ready, Get set….Go!

Today is the day to start your 9-week training plan for our 4th annual title 9k! We've got beginner and intermediate training plans waiting for you, so come and sign up now.

The details:

Where: Boulder, Co

What: Our 4th annual t9k (that's about 5.5 miles) on dirt and trails around the
lovely Boulder reservoir.

When: May 14, 2006 Mother's Day!

Who: Y'all! First-timers, moms with a kid in tow, elite runners or world class skippers, scooters, and wigglers!

The full scoop: Sign up now and check out the details for this year's run!

The race looks like a ton of fun. Wish I could come out there and run it!