Resuscitation

I hadn't run since last week after I made a lousy, half-ditched effort before throwing in the proverbial towel. Oh, what a wuss. I hated myself. But then again, I had a stomach bug, it was too cold to take the baby out--you name it, I had an excuse at the ready.

Since my normal tendency is to be manically busy, I naturally began an internal, verbally abusive conversation with myself. It went something like this:

"You think you're so good and really you're such a loser."

"Look at this house. Why can't you keep it clean. What's wrong with you?"

"Nobody likes you. Why would anybody like you?"

"Go ahead. Eat those Oreos."

Oh, I can be so mean to myself. Why? Why am I like that?

But today...today I did it. I went for a run.

And you know what? I am a pretty good person. I'm not a loser. And the house isn't as messy as I thought it was. And if people don't like me then that's fine. There are other people who do like me.

And the Oreos? I plead the fifth.

P.S. I had to look up Resuscitate in the dictionary and the dictionary naturally fell open to Runner which, for the record, is defined as one who runs :)

world run day 2007

I hadnt heard of this before--you?

(it's been happening since 1999. that should tel you precisely how running "with it" I am)

W.R.D. is a very cool idea that's about running (I know. shocking.) but also about giving charitably and uniting the running community (just like a web site I know :))

check em out:

http://www.runday.com

Warning: a rant

You know, it occurred to me yesterday that I'm so tired of everything being SO DIFFICULT. Not only have I been covering for my boss and assistant for the past two weeks on top of my own full-time job (which, for the record, was two full-time jobs), but I have to come home and try to have a semi-clean, or at least not embarrassing, home and happy healthy children. And try to take care of myself? It's a joke right now.

I ended up sobbing in my room yesterday after melting down in front of my dear family. My daughters are 2 and 3-1/2, and they are wonderful but just being their ages. I often feel like I'm working like mad to just get everyone where they need to be, get the to-do lists done, and try to grab time to launch my graphic design freelance business after everyone is in bed. The arguments about candy, lip gloss, videos, and blankets just puts me over the edge.

On a happy note, a walk saved the day. My older daughter Katie and I escaped for a walk with the dog and it truly made everything so much better. Now if I could find the time to do that every day...

There's always running

First, I have to say Go Sox! I'm a Bostonian stuck out of my state for the 2nd World Series in my 9 year old's life and he has no clue how 86 years is a long time for a win. To be in the World Series again is nothing short of a miracle.

Today I was reminiscing about my time in the Army. First let me be clear that I am a lawyer, joined the Army to live in Germany and still be able to practice law and then we invaded Panama and had Desert Storm and we've been deploying ever since. I'm now an Army wife and raise kids.

The first thing that happened after I signed the paperwork was a big packet comes in the mail that says "Your APFT" I cautiously opened it and saw some stick figures doing full sit-ups, push-ups, and a 2 mile run. At that time I really did not know how far two miles was though I've always been athletic and enjoy sports. I read for a while and then put it away. Flash foward to January 1990, Fort Lee VA and I arrive in my Fisherman's sweater and jeans and sign-in. Within a day they had us line up to take the APFT. I laced up my tennis shoes-- who knew if they were running shoes or not? I ran the 2 miles and passed all sorts of people. I had to go around the track 8 times. I was really surprised at how good it felt, how easy it actually seemed. I finished in 19 minutes 38 seconds. I think I could have gone faster, but I was afraid to do too much too fast. That started my first day as a runner and I've been loving it ever since. From there we went to UVA in Charlottesille, VA and I met some real runners. My classmates who ran at lunch, after class, on the weekend-- wow! It opened up a whole world to me. There was the rabbit looking guy who took me out for an 8 mile run and I was just floored that my body could do that.

Next came Airborne School. I signed up to jump out of airplanes and had to do rigorous runs to get ready for it. I arrived at Fort Benning GA with only 10 weeks of military training and I was a First Lieutenant JAG. They had a good time making fun of us lawyers and putting us through hell (sort of like Basic Training, but the goal is to leave a perfectly good aircraft at 2000 feet-- feet and knees in the breeze). If you fall out of a run- you're done. My trainer (called a Black Hat) was a great guy. He was mean and yelled a lot, but really just playing the role. He did however pull me aside and threaten me that if I fell out of a run there would be hell to pay. I assured him that I may not be able to do any of the Army stuff, but run I could do. It was so empowering. In a world of very unfamiliar everything-running saved me. It was the only thing I could confidently do. The Army is very judgmental about running. Falling out is sort of like treason. I enjoyed my time in the air,but more than that I was proud to finish the runs strong.

The Great And Mighty O.

subtitle: get yer mind out of the gutter.

Did any of you see Oprah the other day when Seal & Heidi Klum were on?

(not sure when it was since I TiVo everything but it was this week)

First? I have an enormous crush on them now. Both of them. As a couple. Talk about what really appears to be a dynamic of love, respect and BALANCE.
All that chickenbus, however, is a post for a different day.

This one? About how Heidi pretty much laid the (subtle) smackdown on The Great And Mighty O.
Not surprisingly Oprah commented on how fantastic Heidi looks *so quickly* after having each of her babies.
Homegurl DOES look amazing and we know that for certain seeing as she strutted down the catwalk TWO MONTHS after giving birth.
(!)

Heidi seemed to sincerely appreciate the compliment and then proceeded to (paraphrasing here) say that she ate healthy during her pregnancy, ate well after, exercised and all the weight came off.

T.G.A.M.O.? You know she had a sarcastic (and hilarious) comment to make in response.

Heidi? She did NOT let that chickenbus go.
She didnt get irritated but she did clarify (and THANKFULLY so we now know she's human) that she doesnt eat everything she wants all the time and look that great.

That it IS hard to see others eating cakes, cookies & pasta (which she did say she ate in moderation. something I also loved.) and keep eating healthy (again paraphrasing you, Ms. K. Please not to sue my chickenbus for misquoting you).

For some reason I adored this entire exchange (because I have no life? sure. but I think there are other reasons as well).

How refreshing to hear Heidi "the body" Klum being HONEST and T.G.A.M.O. being called on her chickenbus because, well, Id imagine she has lots of people around her telling her precisely what she wants to hear.

And, perhaps, because it reminded me of a personal training client I had back in the day.
A client whom I still quote upon occasion.

Said client was struggling to lose weight & asked if I would keep a food diary for her so she could see what worked for me.
Upon receipt of the diary she looked at it, looked at me and said:

"You see, it's HARDER for me because I like Pop Tarts & things like that."


I didnt say it then (at least not out loud) but HOMEGURL, WE ALL ENJOY POPTARTS & "things like that."

In summation: Way to go Heidi. We have enough stars out there telling us they do nothing, eat everything, and "just look this way."

Greetings new leaf!

Allow me to turn you over.

My tornado is turning two next month and, well, please to see the title of my post.

Ive got one word for you: COOKING.

Im so bad about it. I mean, I do "prepare" her food (if you read my personal blog youre already painfully aware that a lot of this involves my boyfriend Mister Micro Wave & fresh ingredients) but I could be better about cooking for myself and my husband.

Me? Im old school. Id just as soon eat tuna out of the can instead of driving to whole foods, buying a fresh tuna steak, soaking it in a marinade and firing up the grill (all with aforementioned toddler in tow).

Id rather scramble egg whites and grab veggies from the fridge when I pass by than motivate to chopchopchop and scramble & season (all with aforementioned toddler in tow).

my hubby? the most amazing man and AMAZINGLY plain eater as well (cue wedding bells! I wasnt letting that one go).


AND amazingly LATE worker. So, for now, we dont do dinners the three of us.

yada yada yada.

Greetings new leaf! Allow me to turn you over.


http://startcooking.com/

Homework is Hard

I'm going to go ahead and put this in black and white: I must be the worst mother in the world not to mention that I must not be very bright because I had to google an answer to my son's second grade homework. Second grade people!! I'm so glad I looked at his homework before he sat down to do it so that I could see the word in question and get my fingers typing! As a result, when he looked at me with those adorable big brown eyes and said "Mommy, what does estivation mean?" I was able to look back at him as only June Cleaver could and say "Why dear, estivation is a rare state of dormancy similar to hibernation, but that occurs in the summertime!" I can hardly wait to see what he brings home in 3rd grade.

Calibrate Your Nike +

Do you own the Nike + for your iPod Nano? I have it and I love it. I really do. It's a great way to know how far you've gone, how many calories you are burning and what your average per mile pace is. It's also pretty darn cool to see all your runs in graph form on the Nike + site. However, if you do use the system, do yourself a favor and calibrate that sucker! "They", meaning the Nike Gods, advise you to head to your nearest track and walk, then run a set distance for calibration. I never did that and just always took the number with a grain of salt. Surly it couldn't be to far off, could it? Well, this weekend, I learned just how far off it actually is. I ran in an 8K on Sunday and before the race began, I set the distance on my iPod at 5 miles assuming that it wouldn't be right on with 4.9. At the end of those 4.9 miles, my iPod was thrilled to tell me that I had just completed 5.43 miles, ".43 miles past your goal!" So that thing has been a half mile off all this time?! Honestly, this isn't that big of a deal if I have a long run, but on those days when it's all I can do to log 3 miles, I'm kind of devastated to know that I didn't even make it that far! So, do yourself a favor and get up to a track and calibrate, calibrate, calibrate!

Veggies make you jump higher!

I'm not at the food wrestling stage with the baby yet, but you all have gotten me to thinking. Just how did I get my daughter to eat? And then I remembered. I used to call broccoli Monkey Trees and, when she refused to eat her carrots, I told her they made her jump higher.
"I can already jump high!" The defiant toddler assured me.
"Show me!" I challenged.
And she jumped.
"That's not very high." I said in mock disappointment.
Then she'd scramble back onto her chair, shove some carrots into her mouth and jump again, just to show me.
"Wow! That is the highest I've ever seen anybody jump!"
Her father would just shake his head in amazement.
Ah, the good ol' days.
Steph

I may have to hurt him

I love my husband, but (you know something bad is going to happen, huh? - kinda like when the scary music starts during a horror movie) does he HAVE to weigh less than me?

I've been battling these last several pregnancy pounds (yes, my twins are almost 5 - yes, I'm still calling them pregnancy pounds - don't judge me!) for a while and feel I have finally decided to meet these stubborn pounds head on over the past couple of months. I have already lost 6 pounds and at least feel like I'm making progress.

My poor husband has had to deal with me discussing, debating, complaining about these pounds since the girls were born, but - more importantly - I have had to deal with him always weighing less than me.

You see, he has never had a weight issue (he really is a stick - 6 feet tall and MAYBE weighs 145) and there is NO possible way for him to understand what I am going through and I get that. I - on the other hand - have had to deal with weight issues since I was little and it has just become a part of my life. Kinda like a demon possessed security blanket.

So, when I have a mental breakdown over the fact that a few Halloween costumes don't fit me right because of my weight (that's another post for another day) there is no way for him to relate. And - as much as I want to be sympathetic to his confusion over my breakdown - all I really want to do is drop-kick his skinny butt through the kitchen window.

Love ya honey - mean it!

Win a Free Pair of Shoes from Stride Rite

Thought I'd share this week's Classy Mommy giveaway with the See Mommy Run gang! Good luck and run on over to Classy Mommy to enter!

Win Classy Mommy Swag! Thanks to stride rite for sponsoring our latest giveaway with a kick! One winner will receive a pair of brand new cute shoes from stride rite's fall collection for their lucky child! Contest entries need to be received by October 27th.

Food thoughts....

I was motivated to share some of my favorite sites thanks to GoShellyGo's post.

the first? helpful and interesting.

the second? helps to keep things interesting

the last? I love even though there are more than 2 of us.

(I know. I cant reach all my goals in a few weeks. the links? UGLY but work.)


http://www.drgourmet.com

http://www.allhomemadecookies.com/recipeindex/healthycookies.htm


http://cookingfor2.livejournal.com/

Uggg. I thought I was doing ok.

I am one of those Moms who hates to have her kids looking uncared for or sloppy (I can however spend all day in running clothes). I remember very smuggly watching the other kids in preschool with unkempt clothing, dirty fingernails, messy hair and feeling very relieved that my kids were pretty clean/kept up. The other morning I took my sweet 10 month old baby out of her crib, nursed her, loved on her, and got ready to change a diaper. I did not put her to bed the night before- my older kids and husband did. I gently tugged her sweet little toes out of her sleeper and kissed her right foot and made a big deal out of the toes. I went for the left foot and as I started to kiss the tiny feet- I saw large green slash marks of magic marker on my poor baby's feet. She had grafitti on her feet. She was far from pristine, but boy was she happy as she is every morning. Reality check. I just cannot do it all and was I ever wrong to ever be smug. A good friend once told me we probably would not make it as friends since my firstborn was her 3d child's age and I was oh too uptight :) Green magic marker on my baby. I've sunk to a new level. Nobody admitted to coloring on the poor thing.

Ugh, rainy weekends!

Okay, I confess. Feel free to laugh, judge and ridicule, but it has been a LONG rainy weekend here in Portland Oregon (the first in a long line of them this winter!), and not only did I not go out and be healthy or productive, but I have fed my children candy and cookies. Yep. They've had meals too but nothing remarkably healthy. I've been a poor role model. My youngest daughter truly only plays with her little kitchen's microwave oven. She tosses a plate in, pushes a few buttons, hits "start" and walks away. We've watched videos upon videos, made blanket forts, chased each other around, and colored forever. I showed my older daughter the food pyramid and felt like our family's was upside down. And it's finally Sunday night. Wow.

I feel that I can say all this because I plan to make big changes in how we eat. But does anyone know good websites that make healthy meals fast? I work outside the home 40 hours a week on top of being a mom and trying to launch my freelance graphic design business. I've enjoyed www.mealsmatter.org but am looking for something fresh. Ideas (but no ridicule) welcome!

oops!

crumbs brought it my attention that found.com goes to a software site and she wonders if that's my favorite site and all I have to say is Heck Yes! I am all about software.

Okay. So maybe I'm not ALL about software.

The correct site is foundmagazine.com.

Y'all are going to love it!

(Guess which state I'm from...)

is it called a MeMe?

Im not really even sure what these things are called---but Ive been tagged with one.

Which started me thinking that it might be fun--by way of introduction/re-intro.--to have any blogger here who wanted to participate do the same.

So feel free to consider yourself tagged!

And, because Im never one to follow directions, Ive decided not to answer the questions as some would have gone on & on...


My route? listing only the answers that would *surprise* people who know me.

Im such a boring open book my MeMe thing is brief.


*Jobs I Have Had*
Sunday school teacher
Aerobics instructor (zero rhythm here)
Hamburger patty maker (please to think ginormao vat of cold bloody ground beef & me chanting in my head I NEED MONEY FOR SPRING BREAK. I NEED MONEY FOR SPRING BREAK)


*Places I've Lived*

oxford, england

*Foods I Love*
plain air popped popcorn and a SHAKER of salt.
sad but true. I lovelovelove plain chickenbus.
a close second? a vat of plain oatmeal.
third? BOXES AND BOXES of plain ole chocolate poptarts :)


*Places I'd Rather Be*

(cue sappy music) nowhere else but wherever I am at the moment. It has taken a lot of work to get to this place (both where I am & appreciating it)


*Movies I Love*

(everyone around me knows I love low-brow. the lower the brow the better)
The surprise answer? Born into Brothels and the Shawshank Redemption.


*TV Shows I Watch*

sadly nothing surprising here. Love? James Spader & William Shatner’s friendship on Boston Legal.
Adore? Julia Louis Dreyfus on the New Adventures of Old Christine.
Eddie Izzard on The Riches? Amazing.

*Books I Love*

many many many many.
Today? Eat Pray Love.
Tomorrow? Perhaps The Year Of Living Biblically or Foreskin’s Lament.
Always? Steinbeck.





Anyone else wanna jump in?

Desperate Housewives.

Is there one in every crowd? The other woman who always tries to one-up everyone else. The one that is on the edge of the stalker cliff, ready to jump full fledged into crazy stalker status. The one who makes the new neighbor on Desperate Housewives seem mild and makes you feel like Bree? I do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.......but I admit, I can hold a grudge like a jaded elephant. Some how I got caught up in some sort of a stay-at-home turf war. I expected politics in the work arena.....but seriously.........politics as a mom?? It's nuts. I went from mild mannered minivan driving mom into "oh hell no, not her AGAIN!!" HELP!!!!!
Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't post this..........................

Favorite Site

Hi ladies! It's me again. I just spent some time on my favorite website: Found.com and wanted to let you know about it.

Aunt Stephanie

I became an aunt (again) yesterday! My little sister (if you can call six feet tall little) had her first baby. I'm so happy for her. I'm so glad that she finally went through labor. I'm so glad that everything she ever thought she knew about parenting will be put to the test. I'm hopeful that she will stop filling my daughter's room with useless junk. I'm so glad that her days of being flighty are over and that she will learn that if she wants her old body back, girl, you're going to have to work.
Did I just say all that? Am I really that mean?
Why, yes. I am.
Congratulations, Sister. Welcome to the jungle.

What kind of inheritance did I give them?

For the past three days I have been catering to a sick little girl whose illness was allergy induced.

I have twins (Thing 1 & Thing 2 for the purpose of this blog and a "shout out" to Dr. Seuss) and they have inherited my lovely allergies. Of course, I am not completely at fault. I put some of that blame (oh heck - I'll just give him all of that blame) on my father. A good man by all other accounts, but he has one heck of an allergy issue. This - my dear internet friends - is what he decided to pass on to me. Not his ability to run hurdles in track, not his great athletic prowess (I'm athletic, but not great by ANY means) - his allergy issues (and his freakish outgoingness - is that even a word?). And I have passed this gloriously annoying trait on to my children - lovely.

Their father? - not an allergic bone in his body - seriously. You could shove him in a room full of hairy cats, hand him a large bouquet of ragweed and make him guzzle peanut butter (can't leave out those food allergies) and he wouldn't bat an eye. Why - oh why couldn't they inherit these "non-allergies" from him.

So, as I sit here with my daughter's head in my lap as I type I consider all the traits I may or may not have passed on to these beautiful girls. I just hope the good traits outweigh the bad.

Of course - I do give myself credit for how gorgeous they are :-). Now, if I can just get my parents to let me know when I'll inherit that trust fund I'm convinced they have set up for me. I'm still not quite sure why they laugh when I ask them about it.