I never quit before

Now that I have my first ever blog out of the way I can talk about running or I guess in this case not running the Marine Corps Marathon. This is the 3d time I've made the cut and had to back out. The first time I backed out I was pregnant. The second time I backed out I had gotten into the NY City Marathon and lived in NY so I ran that one. This time I have no excuse and it feels awful. I ran NY 9 months after my 3d child was born. I breastfed at the family reception area after a very long marathon (had to keep drinking at every station to make breast milk). I thought wow what a great way to get back in shape. None of my friends told me I was nuts so I thought it had to be ok. Soooo,, 4th child born last December and I signed up to run the Marine Corps. I pulled out Hal Higdon and started training, then stopped, then started and got up to a 12 mile long run before realizing I am out of my mind. I have two kids on select soccer teams, a busy 4 year old and an infant who really does not ask for much except to be fed and held, but I was jumping my mileage without putting the weekly runs in. My knees hurt. I've never ever had a running injury. I'm too slow for that. I weigh too much for this and I've got to call it quits. My friends and family could care less. I'm the only one crying for a lost marathon. I should go ahead and run a half marathon as I'm trained for that. Lost causes. I did love the two hours to myself for the weekly long runs. My husband will always help me run. I feel pressured to have a plan. What will I write in our Christmas letter?