Here's my question:
- If someone makes you miserable every time you talk to them, and sucks the positive energy right out of your day, should you still talk to them?
- What if you are related?
- Do you need to offer up an explanation if they don't hear you anyway?
- Do you continue to discuss issues with someone, when the person does what she wants to anyway?
- Does a time come when you need to write someone off, even if you are related?
- If so, how do you do so without guilt?
4 comments:
I have this exact problem.
I continue to go on in order to maintain the peace but my guard is always up and every time I am in the same room with her, I am a giant, angry stress ball and seriously feel sick for hours before and after any visit. But again, I do it for "the family" and because I am horrible at confrontation.
Are you talking about my mother in law??? We have been trying for years to maintain a positive relationship with my MIL, but after 7 years of trying we are backing off. Not that we see them much at all. It is a hard situation and if we saw them more often or if they were more involved I would put more effort in. I try to be civil. Your situation seems to be with someone you are move actively involved with- that makes it is heck of a lot more complicated. Good luck!
Having someone who you'd rather not be around and be family is horrible. It depends on the situation. If it is a harmful or potentially harmful situation then you need to remove yourself. Do what feels right. No matter what you will probably have guilt and guilt sucks. You have to do what is right for you and your family and you can do it gracefully.
I have the same situation with my own mom. I mutter through it and then when I get home my family takes the brunt of my craziness when we get back. So I have backed off some, stood my ground on not visiting as much, but maintained dignity and it hasn't been nasty.
Good luck.
I'm glad I posted. Seems I am not alone!
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